A Typical First Night Close

After a long day of hunting peacock gear in Hong Kong, me and Nucleus target a popular bar area for westerners. All the places are cock farms with 80-90% guys, so I simply pick the most crowded one: a bar with a big dance floor and around 200 people. I start by getting a red bull, observing the social atmosphere of this new venue. There are around 5 interesting sets, all of whom are dancing. The guys are poorly dressed and have virtually no game. I keep watching a couple of them trying to pick up on the dance floor, and as is usually the case, I see the same mistakes being done: they are too eager and too needy. They are constantly leaning in while talking to the girl. Worse, they are facing the girl while she is facing her friends, even dancing with them, only slightly acknowledging their presence (in what seems to be more about self preservation than friendliness). What these guys have is enough alcohol in their system to lose approach anxiety, at the same time losing whatever calibration they naturally have.

Reactiveness and calibration have an interesting relationship, because as one of them increases, the other one usually decreases. Not to say that this must be the case; of course it isn't so. I am merely making an observation about what commonly happens with guys when they try to pick up: some don't give a fuck and hence become unreactive, but at the same time very uncalibrated, others are careful and hence calibrated but convey lots of reactiveness. It's a rare thing to find guys that are both unreactive and calibrated.

We head for the dance floor to close some sets. Appearance - the art of looking good, not the property of being good looking - is very important because it sets the initial value you'll have before even approaching sets. This is what people refer to as first impression. I'm mainly referring to the passive aspects of looking good: having a good style of clothing, hair style, smelling good, and wearing some interesting peacock gear serving as an approach bait. But this is not all there is to appearance: the energy you (and your group) radiate - which is usually a direct consequence of your internal state - can raise or lower your value, depending on how positive and warm alpha you appear to be. Moreover, social proof through the direct display of female preselection is an extremely effective way of raising initial value.

As soon as I enter the dance floor, I see this Chinese girl standing next to me dancing and looking at me with a smile. We keep eye contact for a couple of seconds. She's a 7.5. Normally guys fuck it up here, because they look away. Unless you turn away because you are in conversation with someone, this is not a very good display of dominance, and hence confidence. If the girl has more balls than you have, then what good are you to her? She isn't looking for a guy whom to take care of and protect. Dominant behavior - not as in restricting other peoples free will, but as an expression of openness, decisiveness, and unreactiveness - conveys leadership, which is one of the fundamental attraction triggers. I raise my lips slightly; just enough to give a subtle IOI without conveying eagerness. Combined with the intensive eye contact, this smile conveys "I like what I see". This must of be followed by a screening frame, i.e. the full expression is "I like what I see, I want to know more about you", not an eager frame "I like what I see, let's hook up!".

HB_china: Hi! (she smiles broadly)
Oracle: Hi, are you Scandinavian?
HB_china: No, I'm Canadian!

The great thing about opening with this one on AIs or as a reply to female opening lines is that it puts doubts about your interest: did you approach or smile at her because you were interested, or was it simply because you thought she was Scandinavian?

She starts asking me where I'm from, at the same time kinoing me. She is very keen. And here lies the mistake most guys do: they would take the opportunity to kino escalate up to kissing immediately. This is usually a bad strategy, because immediately reciprocating interest shows eagerness, and eagerness conveys lack of preselection. If you're taking every chance you get on girls, it means you do not hold any standards, which means you don't have sexual choice, and that inevitably means you're not very attractive to girls. So eagerness is a DLV. Moreover, reciprocating her escalation encourages her to exercise her sexual power over you, which she might gladly do to get validation. This makes it very hard to close her, because if she would give away sex, she would also lose her sexual power, and hence validation. You would then have the challenge of trying to give her more pleasure through lust than what her validation is already giving her. You will have to start chasing, automatically putting yourself at lower value than her.

You could do push and pull to work around this problem, but remember to break off the playful kino teasing at some point and go for the close. What about raising your energy level? Unless you can unabruptly caveman her to sex - which is many times possible - it's harder to close with high energy. This has to do with whatever comfort she needs before having sex with you tonight - sexual comfort. When you are high energy you are clearly not the same person as you are outside of the club - you have taken on a persona suitable for club vibing, and so she knows she is not seeing the real you. Consequently, she is not taking you too seriously. This can give big difficulties build any form of comfort with her, including sexual comfort: the very least you'll need before closing her.

These problems are not realized by most guys because they are validation driven in this game: they care about getting that make out they can brag about to their friends the next day. And ironically, they do this to reinforce a self perception as ladies men, not realizing that kissing a girl but but failing to have sex with her is exactly that: a failure. I am sex driven in this game: the goal is sex, and consequently, the very definition of good things and bad things lies in whether it brings you closer to or further away from sex. Sex is a "close", kissing is not. And I know for a fact that kissing a girl you've just met in a club is a bad thing, especially when she is the one opening you. She will then label you "just fun to hang out with right now in the club". Notice "right now" - it's not even "tonight".

There are two mutually exclusive strategies that will work to your favor: either caveman, or build sexual comfort. Which one you should use depends on what energy the girl is in: you can only lower her energy as much as you have game for; there are definitely situations in which you don't want to try building sexual comfort.

She is already attracted to me, so there isn't much that needs to be done with regards to value raising. She is not extremely high energy, so it's time for sexual comfort in isolation. I reciprocate her kino by brushing lightly enough to make it ambiguous whether I am consciously kinoing or not. To be more precise, the existence of kino reciprocation is quite obvious, but it's purpose is not. She doesn't know whether my light kino brushing is simply a consequence of us standing close to each other on the dance floor, or me signaling interest. However, this is exactly what is needed for her to keep wanting more, and hence investing more, without me signaling eagerness. I stack two more routines to convey personality (mainly through delivery) and open up conversational threads. She jumps into some of them, and we have conversation going. This is good, because I now have her curiosity and it makes sense to move away from the dance floor to have a talk. She is there with a friend who is talking to Nucleus.

Oracle: I am going to show you a Swedish game, it's called the question game.
Oracle (to her friend and Nucleus): I'm going to show your friend something over there, we'll be back in 10.
Obstacle: Okay!

Nucleus keeps gaming her, while I take my target's hand and lead her towards a couple of chairs in the corner. It's almost always a good idea to be holding hands with your target when isolating, bouncing, and extracting. It can indeed become quite awkward to walk next to each other without any locked kino in these situations. When leading in this way, you should grab her hand so that she can't walk in front of you without twisting her arm. There's only two ways of doing this, so you'll figure out which one it is. As we approach the seats, I turn my head back and say "there's 5 rules to the game". We have a seat on bar stools, which enables my favorite position: facing each other, with her knees between mine, and her hands on my knees. This position makes it ridiculously easy for the both of us to kino escalate, all while allowing intimate talking. It's the perfect setup for comfort building.

She is placing her hands on my legs, and I start giving her the rules, once again displaying dominance: when you teach girls things, you are DHVing through delivery.

While playing the game, we start casually asking each other questions and sharing stories. During her answer to one of my early questions, I lean towards her face with my ear, pretending to have difficulties hearing what she's saying, and then start talking at a closer facial distance. Our cheeks are now touching each others, and I turn my head and initiate kissing. This is not seduction kissing but comfort building kissing: this is not the time and place to arouse her but only to make her feel (sexually) comfortable with me.

To keep things short and simple, I'm only going to highlight the most interesting parts of the comfort building here.

HB_china: How many one night stands have you had?

Information that gives away lower bounds regarding how many girls you've slept with is not good when that number is large. Having slept with 30 women is something you can get away with, but it soon becomes a problem as she starts having concerns about just becoming a notch on your belt. So give her a lower number (which you can fix post-sex, simply by telling her the truth about why you lied) for now and convey that numbers don't matter to you: it's the memories and emotions that do.

Oracle: Um...(looking up on the ceiling) To tell you the truth, I don't really count, bu...
HB_china: But I'm sure you could if you wanted to?
Oracle: Perhaps, but I haven't bothered to. Numbers are not interesting, memories are. But somewhere between 10 and 15. Yeah. I love mathematics so let's say 12.5. That makes perfect sense to me.
HB_china: Hahaha

It's perfect to embed the ASD-killer here.

Oracle: When I was 13 I used to have obsessive compulsive disorder. I would wash my hands 20 times a day, shower every morning and every night, and categorize things as either clean or dirty.
HB_china: Oh really!
Oracle: The crazy part is how I got rid of it. I went to boarding school and when I was 15 I met my first girlfriend. I was at a party with friends, and there she was. We kept talking all night and connected really well. So I went back to her apartment that night, and the next morning everything changed. (Note the bait on "boarding school" for further threading/DHVing, and how I keep her curious about whether we had sex or not.)
HB_china: (looking at me very curiously) What happened?
Oracle: I woke up in her bed, and went towards the shower. As I left the bed she woke up too and said "are you going to have a shower now?", because I'd told her everything the night before. I said "yeah, I think I have to" and she replied "no you don't". So I'm standing in the bathroom washing my hands and face (I move my head down and my hands towards my face), and as I look up at the mirror I realize something...(I raise my head towards HB_china and my pull my hands down, then make a short pause)
Oracle: I'm not dirty. I'm not clean (I smile). I've just had sex all night, and (HB_china shines up in surprise) that is neither dirty nor clean. It's natural. So I head back to the bed, and she tells me "did you already have a shower? That was quick." and I said "no, you know what...I don't need to clean myself. I think it's over now. I would rather stay in bed with you like this."
HB_china: Oh my god you got a girlfriend from a one night stand!
Oracle: Yes, that night I lost two things...(pause) My virginity, and my obsessive compulsive disorder.
HB_china: That's amazing!
Oracle: And plus, I got a girlfriend for a year.
HB_china: Wow!

Wow! The main purpose of this story is not to DHV through good delivery - that is of course important, and so you should mimic the events with your body language as much as you can, remembering to keep calibration (for example, you don't bounce or move around much with your body). In particular, when giving dialogues you should mimic the facial expression - and when it's funny, also the tonality and voice - of the impersonated. The main purpose of this story is to prevent seduction related ASD, by conveying that she doesn't not ruin any long term chances with you by having sex early on. Needless to say, this is an important part in first night closing.

Oracle: But I wouldn't call it a one night stand. To me a one night stand is just what it suggests: having sex with someone on the first night, and then not seeing that person again. (To be accurate I should say "and not having sex with that person again", but that is not as good an ASD-killer as the line I used.) But I have had sex with girls on the first night, and they then became my girlfriends. Well that part is obvious by now I think. (I smile) My turn. Um...alright here's a good one, have you ever had a threesome?
HB_china: No.
Oracle: Okay. (Pause) The best thing about that question is that you can't actually ask me it back (teasing smile).
HB_china: (smiling) I know!

We keep playing the game for a while, and her friend comes back with Nucleus. She tells us she is going to go back home.

HB_china: Are you planning to stay here for long?
Oracle: We were planning on meeting up with some friends later at another bar, but I'm not sure I will go there. We're staying for a while longer anyway, so I'll wait for you here if you're going to escort your friend to a taxi.
HB_china: Yeah that's what I was thinking. Okay, I'll be back soon then.

I point to my cheek. She gives me a kiss there, then a real one. I tell Nucleus I'm soon ready to extract her, and getting him up to speed with how he can smoothly eject without her worrying.

She comes back and cuts in.

HB_china: Hi!
Oracle: Hi! Did you put her in a taxi?
HB_china: Yes, she's on her way to our place now. She'll text me once she gets there.

Which means I should wait until that text message arrives before extracting.

Nucleus: Okay, I'm leaving now, see you later.
Oracle: Alright, see you man!
Oracle (to HB_china): He's going to meet up with our friends now. There's something going on between him and one of the girls there. Seems like he is going to stay with her tonight. (I smile)
HB_china: Oh ok!

I isolate HB_china again, and we keep building comfort for another 10 minutes. A text message arrives from her friend, saying she is now safe. To not make things too obvious, I stay isolated for another 5 minutes. Then it's finally time for extraction.

Oracle: Let's go out and get some fresh air.

The interesting thing about extraction is that you can divide it into three parts that are separated by the techniques you will use: extracting out of the club, extracting back to your place, and extracting into your seduction location (usually bed room). The first can be done with any minor form of plausible deniability, such as the one I gave above. If you then try to extract her back to your place in the same go (by simply keep going)it's what I call a silent extraction, and this is what I aim for here.

I take her hand (same way as always, see above) and lead her out of the club. Some guy is opening her on the dance floor but I just keep walking at constant speed, and she is following, so he disappears in the crowd. He would have been slightly better off opening me instead.

As we are about to exit the place, I throw out my infamous ASD-distractor.

Oracle: Oh, do you believe in ghosts?!
HB_china: No! Why, are you going to scare me now?
Oracle: Of course not, but everybody has a ghost story. What's yours?

The purpose of this piece is to make her run a story. Most guys try to distract girls from ASD by telling them stories, but it is so much harder for her to think about sex while she is talking about something that has nothing to do with sex, rather than when simply listening to you talking about something. So don't talk, make her talk.

HB_china: Oh I'm hungry! Let's go and eat!

No need for an ASD-distractor, we are apparently going to do a bounce instead. Instead, I will do a two-step extraction, using another plausible deniability to extract her back to my place.

Oracle: I'm not hungry but I'll keep you company. I'll have something to drink instead.

We head to a nearby spot for some food, which takes about 15 more minutes. If anything, I consider this to be a babysitting session. When you've started the extraction it's too late to use most ASD prevention techniques, because you risk revealing you're intentions. Consider this: she now has some ASD because you're extracting her. To convey something that is meant to prevent or kill off ASD when she is feeling ASD as the risk of being detected. So instead I babysit: we keep casual conversation. The energy is obviously dropping.

Oracle: Am I the only one who's feeling the energy dropping now that we're in a crappy restaurant eating cheap food in the middle of the night? (I'm smiling playfully)
HB_china: Hahaha, no! But I'm so hungry!

She finishes up and we start walking towards the bar street again. Time for the second part of extraction.

Oracle: Have you ever heard Swedish music?
HB_china: No.
Oracle: Good, cause I'm going to play some for you.
HB_china: Where?
Oracle: In Causeway Bay.
HB_china: At your place?
Oracle: Yes. Here's a taxi.
HB_china: But I need to get some cash from the ATM first.
Oracle: There's heaps of ATMs outside my hotel, you'll grab one there. (I open the taxi door.)
HB_china: Okay.

We head back to my area, and she grabs some cash at an ATM. I haven't done any time bridge until now, because it may lower her willingness to come home with me. If she is going to see me again soon, and can wait for some more comfort building before having sex, why should she give it away now? But we're heading to my place now, that's for sure. I can throw out a casual time bridge here to convey pair bond.

Oracle: What are you doing tomorrow?
HB_china: I don't have any specific plans, I'm just going to have dinner with some friends.
Oracle: Me and Nucleus are doing some shopping tomorrow afternoon, why don't you join us?
HB_china: Sure!

It's called a casual time bridge because you don't actually solidify the plans. This piece is done solely to convey you have a desire to see her again, not to actually try to make it happen. Now that she has evidence for your desire to see her again, and she knows you're sexually non-judgementalness, she will be much more willing to sleep with you.

We enter my hotel. In the elevator we start making out for six floors up. I don't introduce any seduction kino yet, because that will trigger LMR prematurely. I want her in my seduction location, i.e. in my room, before doing that. We go inside my apartment, and I remove my shoes.

HB_china: Can I borrow your bathroom?
Oracle: Oh let me have a go first, I'll be quick.
HB_china: Okay.

This is a small detail, but don't let the girl use the bathroom before you, assuming you need to use it of course. This is because you don't want her to have any second thoughts while you're in the bathroom. The more occupied her mind is, the better, and a girl that needs to pee has a more occupied mind than one that doesn't. More importantly, she won't think about sex that much before using the bathroom, because most people don't plan a sequences of future events, they only look for the next thing they need to do, which in this case would be the bathroom visit.

I use the bathroom, and while she's there I remove my peacock gear (bracelet and ring) and put on some Swedish music from my list of seduction songs. It sounds cheesy, but that's because of your misinterpretation: "seduction" does not refer to the songs, but to the purpose they have in my game. They are all classic ballads, and indeed only the best ones. If I can't get away using this playlist, I'll use another one containing more allround music, also a selection of the best classic songs. Roxette and ABBA have songs that are effective for comfort and seduction using this plausible deniability.

She comes out of the bathroom and we start making out.

Dominance matters in seduction too - not to convey leadership, but for escalation. Physical dominance forces her into a more submissive state and she gets swept away, which is a great turn on for most girls. It also breaks through any token resistance and takes away her ASD: since you are clearly doing the escalation with or without her help, she only needs to consent to it in order to make it happen. To understand this latter part better, consider guys that are trying to show extreme care during seduction: they will say something along the lines of "are you sure you want to do this? Because we don't have to." There are two things that are very wrong about this frame: it conveys lack of interest, and lack of sexual confidence. Lack of interest because it makes the girl feel as if you don't really care about having sex with her, which means you're not very physically attracted to her. Lack of sexual confidence because you're not comfortable with the situation. Perhaps you're sexually insecure, and hence inexperienced (two big DLVs). More practically, this lack of sexual confidence puts the responsibility of sexual escalation on her, which is both a huge turn off and a practical difficulty. Women do not want to do the things their guys should be doing. They lose attraction for men that are not behaving like men, but like boys. This is obvious when we look at the evolutionary function orgasm provides women: a mechanism of birth control, preventing her from getting pregnant with boys. You don't need to display lots of physical dominance, but you do need to lead all the time in seduction. The more experienced and calibrated you become in seduction, the more physical dominance you should practice. To keep things safe, start with your FBs.

As we are making out, I pull her head back, kiss her on the neck, ears, and lips. She moans, I grab her breast and make out with her some more, then I start unzipping her dress.

HB_china: Can you turn off the lights? They are very strong.
Oracle: Sure. I didn't know you were shy.
HB_china: Oh it's completely dark now!
Oracle: There's only one light in this room.

I take off her dress, she now has only panties on. She's trying to take off my shirt and I help her. We kiss some more, I grab her buttock and then insert my fingers in her pussy from behind. She lies down in bed, I take off her panties, finger her some more, then she's trying to take off my belt.

HB_china: This belt is really hard to remove!
Oracle: Yes, it's childproof.

I unlock my belt, remove my socks, pants, boxer shorts, and start dry fucking her. After a while she is way past ready-to-go.

HB_china: Do you have condoms? Not that we need them now! I mean...

I always prepare my apartment/room for seduction before I go out. No stuff on the bed, lots of stuff on chairs, tables, and other places they could normally sit on instead of the bed. I make sure condoms are easily accessible, doors that should be closed are closed, doors that shouldn't aren't. The music player, laptop, and other things you'll use for seduction, sex, and after-sex postsarging should all be as easily accessible as they need to be.

Oracle: Yeah hold on.

I open the drawer next to the bed and pull up a condom.

HB_china: How come you have condoms there??

This wouldn't normally happen if it's in your own apartment, but since this isn't and all her ASD is getting triggered at this very last moment, she'll do anything to trap me.

Oracle: Uh okay, if you really need to know... Because this is actually Nucleus' condoms, which he intended to use with the girl he is seeing now.

I finger her some more.

HB_china: Just so you know, I don't have one night stands.
Oracle: Good, then I'll see you tomorrow again.

I put the condom on and fuck her.