Purpose, Memes, and Modules

Welcome back.

I am happy to see you've made the choice to become more than what you are now. It's the tougher road, but it is so much more rewarding. You have chosen to become different from most other people. In a crowd, you will stand out, and people will be watching you. When girls are around, you will have a more social pressure than most guys, because everyone will lay their eyes on you, waiting for you to act or react. You can be different from 95% of the guys out there, and you will get 95% more girls than they will. At times, you will be disliked by some guys. Don't worry though, they look at you with envious eyes, knowing you have the power to attract far more girls than they can.

Of course I realize you probably didn't think too much about making that choice I asked you to make. In all likelihood, you simply clicked on the next post to read this. Your actions were the result of your spontaneous curiosity taking precedence over more difficult considerations. But that's not such a bad thing, as long as that curiosity will guide you to bars and clubs where you will be charming beautiful women.

Without further ado, let us start with the interesting stuff.

For the notion of a "good" or "bad" pick up to make sense, we need to define its goal, or purpose. A comment such as "the purpose of the pick up is to become a stronger self" isn't going to help very much, keeping in mind we want to separate the good pick up techniques from the bad ones. We need something concrete to work with, and the first answer that comes to mind is is sex. Some would however argue that it is not about having sex but about having sexual relationships. That is, one night stands are not part of the goal.

Luckily, this difference is not very interesting, because there are techniques to consistently and quickly go from sex to sexual relationships. This process of going from sex to sexual relationships is what I've named postsarging (the pick up community uses "sarge" as synonym to pick up), and it isn't very hard to learn. Consequently we only need to master the art of postsarging and focus on reaching sex to get sexual relationships. In particular, (almost) any first night sexual encounter can be turned into a sexual relationship instead of a one night stand. Therefore, it makes sense to define sex as the purpose of the pick up.

Now that the goal of the pick up has been defined, we know where we want to end: a good pick up is one that ends with sex (it may take several days to accomplish), and a bad pick up is one that does not end with sex. It's simple and well defined. However, it doesn't tell us much about how to get to sex; we need strategies to get there. These strategies come in two forms:

1. Concepts (memes)
   
2. Situation-based techniques (modules)

Modules are based on the natural progression towards reproducing the best things we do in every common situation. By ending up in similar situations often, we naturally start repeating the things that seemed to work and rule out the things that didn't. By iterative progression - the act of improving once performance by making only small changes - we refine our techniques in order to reproduce the good result and avoid of the bad ones. This is not just a compelling idea, it's the reality of how it works, but it only works if you are systematic in your treatment of every specific situation: if you try completely different things every time you end up in a particular situation, there is obviously no iterative progression, only random outcomes that you have no control over. No refinement can occur until you start reproducing the good pieces and screening out the bad ones.

Examples of modules include approaching a group of girls, introducing your friend to a group of girls (wing game), splitting a group of girls, standing one-on-one with a girl while here friends are conversationally separated but physically close (mini-isolation), sitting down with a girl physically away from her friends (isolation), taking a girl back to your place (extraction), having foreplay and confronting her feelings of slutiness (foreplay & LMR), etc.

Whereas modules are about breaking down the pick up into small entities of techniques for common situations, concepts, or memes, are trying to grasp the pick up as a whole. What are the typical necessities of a successful pick up? What beliefs should one have or not have with respect to pick up?

We will address all these issues in this blog. The memes and modules have been separated into two distinct sections, and there is no predefined order in which you need to read the posts. The only mandatory part is to finish reading the introduction first, otherwise the rest won't make any sense. However, I would recommend that you finish reading the introductory part and proceed by reading about some concepts to get a feeling (memes), then quickly move on to techniques (modules) you can directly start using to pick up chicks. Some articles require you to have read others, this will be stated in the beginning in that case.

I'm not worried about you grasping all the concepts because every one I've met that takes this seriously enough understands most of the concepts. The problem is that they still don't get laid, because they don't have a working game plan. So get started with the iterative progression early on - for this or the next weekend - in order to get your modules fixed. When you can repeatedly move forward from one situation to the next without any bad surprises, you will be able to get almost any girl you want.

Identity: conveying value

Identity is the deepest concept with regard to pick up. In fact, it's not really a concept, because identity is who you are. It's what uniquely defines you; your personality, your memories, experiences, feelings, ideas, opinions, knowledge, everything inside of you. And perhaps that is why many people have such a hard time grasping what identity really is. Most people don't really know who they are, something that becomes obvious when they do something they'd never thought they would do. They surprise themselves because they don't truly understand their own minds. On this level identity is important with regards to your inner attributes: having a strong personality, a strong frame, being in good state, confidence (being unreactive, independent, determined, etc). This is something you'll work on mainly through changing your thought patterns, but in order to do that you will need to get results (sex) on your way, for true confidence and self knowledge needs real world evidence. You'll improve your identity a lot by getting experience, and mainly those experience that leads to results. In the beginning phone numbers and kissing might be enough, but after a while you'll realize nothing short of sex will do. And many times not even sex, but sexual relationships.

To more practical matters, identity isn't enough in itself. Having a strong identity that no one sees is not very helpful in getting you girls: you also need to know how to convey your identity. Everything you would think of when asked "who are you?" is about your identity. Luckily, no one will ask you that question. Instead, girls ask more specific questions that relate to your identity. Here are the most common questions you will get:

1. What do you do?
2. What's your name?
3. How old are you?
4. Where are you from? (if you look foreign or have an accent)

Your name and age are not very interesting facts about you by default, but you can always make the best out of it. For example, I convey some of my personality by saying: "I'm really bad with names, but then names say more about our parents than us". When asked for my age, I like to make her guess a couple of times, letting her know whether she should guess lower or higher. This is mainly about the frame; it creates a more playful vibe.

The interesting question is the first one: "what do you do?". This is an indirect request for your identity through your interests. There are three other questions that relate to this one:

1. Why do you do that? (Why did you chose to do that?) (your passion)
   
2. How do you do that? (your competence)
   
3. What do you want to become/achieve? (your ambition)
   

They indirectly give away a lot of information about who you really are - your identity. Many girls will ask you what you do, but fewer will ask you why or how. This doesn't mean you shouldn't tell them. In fact, you don't even need to wait for a girl to ask you what you do in order to convey your identity, you can to this indirectly through stories or by throwing in references to what you do while talking about unrelated things, thus baiting them into asking about your identity.

It's interesting to see that these three questions relate to some very important concept that obviously increase your value, as indicated above:

1. What you do: interests
2. Why you do it: passion
3. How you do it: competence
4. What your goals are: ambition

Interests are starters, you use them to convey your passion, competence, and ambition, because these latter three things increase your value. To be more specific, they increase her chances of surviving, or in more modern terms, getting a better life by pair bonding with you. To be more convincing about your interests, you need to be passionate about them. Why you chose to do it conveys this passion, and again, also your personality. But a dreamer is not nearly as attractive as a man that is down to earth. It's one thing to want to do a lot of things, and another to actually be able to do them good. If you don't have any success or potential, the value you are conveying is not real. So you need to convey your competency by telling her how you are doing the things you do. Simple yet fascinating examples or stories will do fine. It conveys that you know your stuff, and competence/intelligence solidifies your interests. Finally, ambitions are about your near future. Projects you are working on right now, or upcoming ones. This shows that you have the potential to become even more valuable in the future. You become a good investment for her.

This is of course not how girls consciously analyze you - it is an evolutionarily built in mating strategy they have. When you convey your identity through your interests, how passionate you are about it, how competent you are, and in what direction you are going to go, girls will naturally become more attracted to you.

To give you an example, I used to do research in cryptography, and so when girls would ask me what I do, I would say: "I'm a cryptographer. Don't tell me, you're probably thinking about codes, because you've read or seen the Davinci Code right. Don't worry, that's fairly accurate: cryptography is the art of communicating with someone in a language that nobody else understands." Usually that would give a "that's interesting!". Compare this to: "I work with cryptography. Do you know what it is? It's about codes and ciphers, most of the calculations are done on computers today." That would definitely not give you an honest "that's interesting!", although it the description is also accurate. It is very important that you convey your identity efficiently. Back to my former identity conveying, I would then proceed by baiting her into my identity slightly, and finishing off my short yet effective presentation:

"Do you know what a prime number is? Really, OK I wanna hear your version of it. Yes, that's exactly what it is, you must be smart - not many people know that. What they also don't know is that they are using cryptography every day. You've probably done a lot of shopping on the internet, I'm not even going to start guessing where. I'm the guy who makes sure you can safely check your email and shop on the internet. That's what I do."

Sometimes they'll ask me if prime numbers are used in cryptography, and I'll go on conveying my identity through an example of secret message exchanging.

Note how this conveys my identity through what I do and how I do it (my competence). To convey my passion, I would sometimes say: "Cryptography is about information and communication. I love how all kinds of communication works. Did you know that only 7% of all communication in this room is verbal right now? The rest of it is conveyed through body language and other signals. I find that amazing."

From there we sometimes went into people watching games: pointing to random groups of people in a bar and guessing their internal relationship.

As you might have noticed, I'm never being reactive when I convey my identity. I'm never asking her what she thinks of what I'm doing. I'm confidently and proudly conveying it to her. This is about frame; when you convey your identity - that is, a part of yourself - you obviously want to be alpha, as well as interesting.

You know you're doing it right when she gives you indicators of interest that relate to your identity. Here are some typical examples:

1. She asks you questions about you (she is curious to know more)
   
2. "That's interesting..." (she finds you interesting and wants to know more)
3. "You have so much going for you" (she likes you and wants to connect)
   
4. "You are great" (she really likes you)
5. "I believe in you" (she is yours)
   

Identity is also about personality, something I will address in a separate post. Finally, your interests, passion, ambitions, and competence are things you can and should convey very early: right off the approach if you can. You can for example embed bits of your identity into the story that follows an indirect approach.

When you are building connection with a girl, you will use deeper parts of your identity. This will be addressed in the isolation module.

Your homework is very important with identity, because you need to concretize these ideas. For early identity conveying (as this post is about) you need to think of all the things you like to do. Make a list of them. Then for each one of them, explain why you like to do it (passion), how you do it (competence), and what you want to achieve by doing that (ambition). Make sure you outline these things in a way that is nicely presentable to girls and group of girls in clubs, it has to be both understandable and interesting. Don't keep going for too long, and feel free to throw in one or two short questions that will keep/amplify their interest. And no weird stuff, remember the purpose of conveying identity here: to increase your value, thus making you more attractive.