Kino Escalation

Kino is short for kinesthetic and simply means physical contact. As indicated by the triangle of seduction, kino is one of the two ways in which escalation takes place. Hence, kino is one of the most important parts of the pick up, if not the most important part. Without kino, there will never be any sex - you can't go from no physical contact at all to sex in one step. On the other hand, kino escalation needs to take place in incremental steps, so that it is perceived as smooth. From your perspective, you need kino calibration.

Thus we need to talk about kino steps, but before that, there are two important things that need to be mentioned. Firstly, kino takes place very early, and is done in most situations (modules). You can and should establish kino with your girl while 1-on-1 with her, and many times you should also do it before that, while you are talking to her group of friends. This is also where the second thing needs to be mentioned: there is brushing and holding. I used to call this unintentional and intentional kino, depending on how the kino was perceived by others. Now I realize this is not the interesting distinction; it does not matter whether they perceive you as having intentional or unintentional kino. What matters is not if others, in particular the girl you are touching, thinks you are doing it on purpose or not. It only depends on whether you make her feel uncomfortable about it or not. In a sense it's about frame/alphaness weighted against comfort/privacy. On the one hand, having too little kino (the typical mistake) means no escalation occurs. On the other hand, escalating too aggressively is intimidating and breaks the smooth escalation.

Early on, you'll only do brushing, the exception being when you have an excuse for holding her. Examples of excuses to hold her hand are palm reading and hand massage (although I personally think these two things are pretty uncool to do in a club). Start by brushing her arms and shoulders with your hands while talking. Make it natural - if you only touch while verbally pausing, this will come across as awkward to her and she'll feel uncomfortable, thus breaking your kino escalation. Her arms and shoulders are naturally more exposed and less private than the rest of her body, she will not object (verbally or physically) to light brushing if you are calibrated. You can do high fives when you want to give her an implicit qualifier too. While you are talking to her friends about her (regardless of who initiated the topic) you can't put your hand on the girl's shoulder, but let go after a while as you don't want to be trying too hard. Keep it casual in the beginning. Girls will experience you as a naturally touchy person, and this will make them feel comfortable with your kino. It is therefore of great help to also touch your male friends as you are talking to them (put a hand on their back or shoulder for example). Another important way in which you can touch her is while teasing her: when you say something playful and she feels teased by you, you can smile and touch her playfully. This only adds to the vibe while also initiating the necessary kino escalation.

There are also some other more specific kino techniques:

1. Proximity
   
2. Spin
   
3. Cheek kiss
   

Proximity is something I naturally developed through conversations in loud clubs: I would sometimes not be able to hear what the girl was saying, and instead of leaning in, I would turn my body slightly to the side, turn my head 90 degrees to the side (so that my left ear would be facing her), lean my head forward slightly, put my arm on her back and gently push her towards me. This is of course from the frame "I can't hear what you are saying". Many girls would unconsciously reciprocate by putting their hand on my back, revealing a physical attraction. If they don't touch back nothing has been lost, as she gets a little closer you get an indication for her level of interest, because you can see how much distance she keeps, and you'll simply remove your hand from her back after a couple of seconds (but leave it there are few extra seconds to probe).

Spin is exactly what is sounds like: you make the girl spin around 360 degrees by taking one of her hands and pulling your arm over and around her. You can start by interrupting yourself in the middle of a sentence, look slightly suspicious (but not in a weird way), and then say "give me your hand..." and put up your hand. If she takes it, you make her spin. If she refuses to take your hand, you say: "you seem to have big hands, I just wanted to compare with my own, never mind" and go back to your original conversation without any break (don't wait for a reaction, be nonreactive). In accordance to the rules of reward and punishment, you punish her for bad behavior by indicate disinterest (not complying to your request for her hand is an indication of disinterest, hence bad behavior), and reward good behavior, usually by giving her a compliment. I usually only say "nice!" after she's made a spin, then go back to my original story.

Sometimes girls have to go to the bathroom. This can be confusing as you know you are going to look stupid if you wait for her, but at the same time, if she asks you too, it means she really wants to see you again. You could tell her to find you later but this is not a good solution, as you - as the man - are responsible for the escalation, not her. So you might have to sacrifice some value for escalation. After all, value is only valuable because it can be converted into sex. Tell her you'll wait for her "around this area, she'll find you easily", then turn your cheek against her, and point towards it with your finger to indicate you want a kiss on the cheek. She'll give you one before she leaves. You may ask for another one on the other cheek and then even one on the mouth, if you think you can get away with it. Then approach another group of girls (or a lone wolf) and start building attraction. Get light kino (brushing) with them as well, so that your girl will see them touching you when she comes back from the bathroom.

The techniques mentioned so far are great because they don't require any to very little reciprocation. Hence, you can and should start using them very early. After a while it becomes necessary to use some heavier form of kino however. You'll be surprised at how much you can get away with using proper kino calibration. Here are the heavy kino steps, in a chain that naturally lead up to kissing:

1. Hand holding while moving around in the club
   
2. Hand holding while talking
3. Holding waist/back while talking
   
4. Holding each other front-to-front
5. Brushing faces while whispering front-to-front
   
6. Kissing

If you start hand holding while talking, you can naturally escalating to holding both her hands standing front-to-front (and similarly if you are holding her waist and she is touching yours back). When you are talking front-to-front and holding each other in some way, you can naturally get closer to her until you brush faces while talking softly or whispering. From there it is very natural to start kissing.

One word of warning though: you may be touching each others hands or waists while talking but not find a natural way to get fully front-to-front with her, or be standing front-to-front but not be able to naturally get closer. That doesn't matter: you shouldn't try to escalate up until kissing in the club anyway. If there is natural kino escalation that leads up to kissing (almost always some variation of the steps outlined here) then you should kiss her (otherwise your insecurities will make her feel uncomfortable!), but if you stall somewhere in heavy kino, it's not a problem. Some girls won't kiss you until in foreplay, or even sex. The point is that light kino is more or less essential, and heavy kino is very helpful in escalation, kissing is by no means a necessary step before extraction or anything else for that matter. Kissing is not part of the module-based game; you can go from no communication to sex without any form of kissing if necessary. If you are trying to get an extraction from physical attraction-game, then you obviously want to kino escalate as fast and heavily as possible until extraction (depending on the situation you may or may not want to arouse her before extraction). When you do identity-based game, heavy kino is still important but you are in no rush: usually this kind of game stretches over multiple days and so will your kino escalation, all the way up until the final kino step: sex (see foreplay for the seduction kino steps).

Triangle of Seduction

The triangle of seduction is one of the most fundamental views on pick up. When I asked myself what are the (interesting) things that actually happen during a pick up, I found that there are only 3 things worth doing:

1. Your investments into the interaction.
2. Others investments into the interaction.
3. Escalation.

The interaction is the (possibly non-verbal) communication between you and the group or girl you are addressing. The communication link can be two seconds or many hours; it is still an interaction. By investments, I mean any form of time and energy put into the interaction.

The separation into your investments versus theirs is because of the following important observation: the one who invests into an interaction is always the one that gives something. Thus you become interesting by investing in interesting stories, but you can also become boring by investing in uninteresting stories, or try-hard by investing too much without requiring anything back. This is called dancing monkey syndrome and is quite common among guys that have just learnt game.

On the other end are the clueless guys who don't know anything about game. They don't invest anything, simply because they don't have anything to invest. Instead they force girls to invest by asking lots of unrelated questions: "where are you from?", "come here often?", "are you having fun?". When they do invest, it will be one of two things: either a compliment that will usually come across as non-genuine, or offering a drink. It is interesting to note that the one thing girls do fall for: the person (identity), is the one thing that most guys do not talk about.

When you invest, you should invest in the following:

1. Identity (see Identity: conveying value)
   
2. Interesting: games, cold readings, fun facts.
   
3. Humor: stories/jokes, playfulness, teasing.
4. Projections: role playing, bullshitting.

When you want others to invest, you bait them into doing so. This can be done using the following:

1. Direct questions/requests.
2. Indirect guidance through rewards and punishment.
   
3. Challenges (usually playfully so they will be more likely to comply).
   

Then there is the one thing that really matters - the top of the triangle - because it is what leads to sex: escalation. Investments are only there to make escalation possible when needed. Sometimes no investments are needed, you can simply escalate without anything else (a tactic known as cavemanning, this is possible when there is a lot of physical attraction with party sluts). At other times, you'll need to pump either pump girls into state (party chicks) or build value (librarian types) with the techniques above.

By escalation, we are of course talking about kino escalation here. But there is also another form of escalation: connection building (see Sexual Comfort). This is also escalation because connection brings you closer to sex: the more connection you have, the stronger she perceives the pair bond, the more susceptible to seduction she will become. Escalation through connection must be initiated through commonalities and grounding, so that investments are necessary. However, the experienced connection can from then and onwards grow through only spending time together, or even apart from each other because of longing.

Mission One

There is one limiting belief that is so common that it deserves a special mentioning: the belief that sex is something hard to obtain. Some guys believe sex is something that can only be obtained through monogamous relationships, or rather, through some mutual agreement of exclusivity. In their reality, first night sexual encounters is something very rare, something not worth "hoping" for. Moreover, they believe first night sexual encounters necessarily result in one night stands.

Others do not have such severely limiting beliefs, but still think sex is hard to attain when in fact, the truth is that every night, in every club, there are girls going home with random guys. And to think that all these girls are ugly - or "not hot enough for you" - is either a limiting belief or denial. Some guys refuse to see the world for what it is, even when the truth unfolds before their eyes. They go into denial because it's easier for them to remain in their comfort zones, the alternative being pretty much completely breaking down ones reality without having a good replacement. The memes I am giving you here are that replacement.

You don't need to be good at this game to start getting results, and you shouldn't expect to become good before getting results. Instead, you should try to get laid as soon as possible with random girls in clubs. By getting results early, you'll find the motivation needed to improve further in this fun but though game. You are not going to go from average Joe to Casanova in one night. Improvements are, like I've mentioned before, made progressively through an iterative process of refinements. This means you don't improve in huge leaps; you are going to notice progressive improvements in your ability to obtain sex as your pick up skills improve.

Focus on getting results. At first kissing could be good enough as a "result". However, you should quickly aim towards the through goal of having sex, because otherwise you might just get too comfortable getting make outs, where you are halfway between nothing and everything. Ignore phone numbers until you can get first night lays consistently, numbers are not results in any productive use of the word. When you start getting more sex - the only result that really matters, and hence the only real result - you'll start getting more confidence and experience. With confidence and experience, your ability to get results will increase, and consequently you'll get more results which lead to even more confidence and experience. It's a circle of results and improvements on both your inner self (confidence, memes), and your skillset (modules, calibration, intuition).

In the beginning you'll have the skills to get 1 girl out of 50, so you'll need both luck and a lot of approaches. As you keep going you'll eventually run into that 50th girl and will get laid, from which you'll learn a lot about how a successful pick up is made. By repeating this experience you'll eventually acquire the skills to get 1 girl out of 25. Now you get twice as much results, which means twice as much experience from successful pick ups. This is why most guys that try to get better at this never get anywhere, but those who get laid start improving very fast. You need to kick-start this process of early exponential growth, and the only way to do so is by relying on luck, or more accurately, on probabilities. Go out often and make a lot of approaches, then try to do more than just holding a conversation. Holding a conversation is not going to get you laid - you will need to kino escalate (physical contact, and lead) and have a fairly relaxed vibe (have a good frame). The good news is that you don't need much more than that: keep it short and simple at first. If you try more advanced stuff, for example longer story telling to convey your identity/personality, chances are you'll miscalibrate and lose girls you would have gotten otherwise. It's more important that you focus on results instead of the experience you get from failures in the beginning, because there will be plenty of failures from which you will learn from anyway, while there is no guarantee that you'll ever get any results if you don't aim for it.

So here is Mission One, your first mission: go out, pick up a chick, and have sex with her. It doesn't matter if you are a virgin or an experienced player; in the first case it may take some time before you achieve this goal, in the second you'll be able to do it directly. There is no difference between ability and result in this game; every claim we make must be constructive, in the sense that you do what you believe you can do. Real confidence is built on results, and results come through experience and confidence. Experience doesn't require you to have any confidence or previous results, so start by going out a lot. Don't read everything here before achieving this goal; you only need to absorb a few memes, and then focus on only the following modules:

1. approach
2. mini-isolation
3. kino escalation
4. extraction
5. foreplay

Those modules and lots of luck - it's all about probabilities, and consequently, exposure - is all you'll need to complete Mission One.