A Realistic Approach and Oracle's Story

In this post I want to share with you the story of how I went from being an average (but not that frustrated) guy to a natural, to a PUA, and then to were I am now. With this, I want to show you the importance of some key things:

1. Having wings that are also your friends, whom you can have fun with and discuss a variety of things with. Have a regular wing (preferably an rAFC or PUA) and many other guys to go out with, ideally a mix of naturals and PUAs. This is the most important one in terms of getting started and having regularity in going out. When you're too lazy to out, you're wing will push you to go out. And you'll do the same for him.
   
2. Exposing yourself to a wide range of different sarging environments, from shitty to classy venues, dance floor game, bar bouncing, street sarging, fast make outs, fast extractions, day 2+ (anything after the first time meeting). This is the only way to learn to calibrate according to an immense number of variables making up the complexity of this game. Travel the world, and literally fuck it.
   
3. Trying out a wide range of different relationships: multiple same night make outs, ONS, in-venue-close, FB through FNC, FB through day 2+, multiple LTRs, girlfriends, girls with boyfriends, girls with girlfriends, multiple same night extractions. This is mainly to motivate yourself into trying more new things, making game something really fun. You win a video game and you get to see some credits of computer programmers you probably don't even care about. You win this game and you get to play with boobs, ass, vagina, and face. Motivated?
   

I want to highlight all these points below (especially the two first), by giving you my own story now.

It all began in May 2003, when my girlfriend broke up with me after almost a year together. I went to university in a student city, meaning there was a lot of student partys many times a week. At that time I hadn't been in contact with the community yet, and was still trying to improve my natural abilities with girls. My best friend and "wing" was Yusha.p, and just like me, he was also very analytic and demanded real improvements in this area. We started going out many times a week, talking to lots of sets, our closing rate gradually increasing over the months. This environment differs from the standard night club environment in some regards: since we are all students, there is little bitch shield to be worried about. We are all loosely connected in an extended social circle, so opening techniques are not really a concern. We rarely discussed the matter, instead focusing on how to escalate (being naturals at work, we relied on initial attraction to begin with). It was mostly about having balls and not hesitating. In the modern language of PU: strong frame, being unreactive, relaxed, leading, and having fun.

Then, after a summer where we both went abroad separately, we rejoined in our student city for a party, and discussed our experiences abroad. There was one very simple point I was particularly keen to get through: when I used to go out in Sweden, I would be very careful in my interactions with strangers. But when abroad, I would treat people more openly and be less careful, this because a feeling of anonymity would be present. This carefulness is unattractive, and conversely, the openness and ease with which you interact with people is attractive. Now, my main point is that this feeling of being "anonymous" abroad but not at home is mainly internal to myself. It was only inside my own head, a limiting belief, not allowing myself to be the person I truly wanted to be. Yusha.p agreed fully, and we kept discussing this topic before going out. When we got out, I told him I was going to open a specific 2-set near the dance floor, and asked him to come in after 30 seconds (which, admittedly, is usually a little bit too early, but this was long before we embraced the various techniques given by this community!). As soon as he came, we split them into two mini-isolations, swapped (rationalized explanation: we both preferred the other one, real explanation: randomness), pumped up their BT on the dance floor, started making out, and finally, pulled them back to my place. Yusha.p eventually got his girl back to his place with him, leaving each one of us for a night of fun. Our new realization (belief) had already made it's first impact. To this day, both me and Yusha.p agree that night changed us in a significant way, and all this because of one belief with a corresponding affirmation. We believed in something, and it became true that night. And for a long long time, it would glow inside us, fueling our minds with the motives to learn game.

Then one day the curiosity began to grow beyond something I wanted to keep to myself and friends. I launched google and searched for seduction advice. I found this book, short and to the point, written by a Swedish guy called "Player", and his free e-book "Playerskolan" (translation: "The Player School"). I don't remember the details anymore but I believe the book was more motivational than technical in nature, which was fine at that time. It also had a reference to DYD, and from there, the community was discovered.

Me and Yusha.p started practicing C&F, brutally and systematically applying the concepts on the poor students of our university. Me, a little bit more of the F part, Yusha.p, a little bit more of the C part. We had more fun than ever before testing various techniques, but the peak of pleasure was the noticeable increase in lays. A whole new world had appeared to me, with the fascination of laying new hot chicks one after the other. Every semester, new girls came to study in the city, and we had an inexhaustible set of girls to close. We were creating our own paradise.

So far, my involvements in the community had been limited to DYD and discussions with Yusha.p, who in turn had come in contact with some other guys that shared our passion. But this would all change as I went to Australia to finish my degree: I joined the Brisbane Lair to start sarging more seriously. After writing my presentation to the 50 or so members, I assumed I was going to be one of the less skilled players. It turned out to be the opposite. The first, and only, member to contact me was their best: Odin. Our first night together is history: he gamed with a more indirect approach to begin with, me, being a natural, had a more direct approach to start of interactions. I was fascinated by his natural social skills: he was quick, creative, funny, and lighthearted. He always came across as someone that didn't want anything from anyone else, apart from socializing. And yet, he did all this with no arrogance. For the most part: sometimes it is needed, and he wouldn't restrain from being antagonistic either.

We started gaming together several times a week. I started practicing the Venusian Arts: indirect openers, attract game, comfort game. Soon enough, I realized no one had yet made a systematic approach to First Night Closes (FNC, as opposed to later night closes, like the Venusian Arts). Some pieces were missing: extraction game, seduction game (the LMR technique of pair bonding obviously doesn't work when you have low levels of comfort), postsex comfort game (since you don't have enough comfort before sex to assume you now have a sexual relationship), postcomfort game (how to keep LTRs, how deeper levels of connection and love work). Also, some part of standard game models weren't consistent with our own observations. We realized that much (but not all) in this community was about "show game": impressing clueless guys with fancy lines and moves, getting some giggling but no real attraction that's actually needed to escalate.

Odin and I learnt a lot from each other, and developed several concepts and techniques together. Our game tightened for every month and we started getting laid like mad. We shattered our limiting beliefs one by one. Extractions within 30 minutes, then 20, then 10. Multiple extractions in one night. More FBs than I could count on one hand (actually not, because you can count to 31 with one hand!). Girls with boyfriends. Girls with girlfriends. We had the time of our lives.

We had a scheme for how to train: one weekdays we went to the city where there was a tourist bar. Most girls there were backpackers, meaning they would only stay there for a couple of days at most. This had many advantages: they are easy targets, many of them are Scandinavian hotties, you could say and do virtually anything without social consequences. On weekends, we practiced on more classy venues where hot girls went.

After a year in the Brisbane Lair, a new member named QBall joined us. He contacted me requesting some personal training, which I agreed too under one condition: that we would meet as equal friends, and not as student-teacher. Considering we were talking about 1-on-1 training multiple times a week, I found this to be the optimal choice for both of us. QBall was quite different in style from my at that time indirect style. He typically gamed more direct, with earlier kino and more heavy investments. He took the concepts I had but never really applied them as step by step procedures in field; rather, he mentally absorbed the ideas and once they became part of his internal belief system, they naturally started to shine outwards. In contrast to Odin and Yusha.p who had very similar belief structures to mine, QBall was different in many regards, consciously holding some inconsistent beliefs at the same time. Not only did I learn a lot about sarging, but also about how ideas and beliefs propagate in the minds of humans, a proto-science known as memetics, a topic that deserves many articles in it's own right.

I had now also turned to other types of game styles: direct natural game, different kino strategies (including kissing), day 2s and 3s, pawning strategies, and yes, cavemanning. The big picture started to become clear: I could now separate the bullshit, written by some retard with little experience, from the real thing. I could see some guys giving the wrong explanation for some interesting phenomenas. I had gotten a solid foundation for understanding and analyzing games, well founded in my own experiences, those of others, the science of evolutionary psychology (and more generally, modern psychology).

I returned from Australia having finished my degree, PU being the main focus of my life. I had already planned to travel around Asia for a while, and Nucleus came along. The field reports from that trip are to be found here, so I'll focus on my general improvements. This trip gave me time to focus on strengthening the connection between evolutionary psychology and PU, identity conveying, and day game. Most of it was however too theoretic to give direct techniques: rather, it gave me general concepts from which certain guidelines for strong behaviors followed. Without really realizing why, I became somewhat less structured.

Returning from my trip, I started running bootcamps in Sweden together with a new friend and wing, Prince. Prince was the true incarnation of Venusian Arts: structured, by the book, routine based. But he also had a naturally strong frame and strong beliefs, making him a true hybrid. After months of intense sarging together, we started running bootcamps together. And ironically, just like my students learnt from watching me, I learnt from watching them. Group dynamics became more obvious. And just like you'll find amazing patterns in how girls work, I found amazing patterns in how guys work. All this time I had been focusing on how to exploit cognitive biases and selection mechanisms in girls to my advantage, but by analyzing other guys, and more importantly, myself, I realized that I now had the tools to exploit my own mechanisms and those of other guys to help them improve! It's a big map, describing mental states, what they do, how they affect other mental states, what input they are affected by, and how communication across people affects these states. It's the true union of inner and outer game. And it is what I will show you in many of the upcoming posts.